


Easier than Telling the Truth

by okayatbest



Series: Eighteen [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Sassy Louis, Scared Niall, like really tiny, sleepy zayn, smitten liam, tiny bit of hurt harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:05:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4602651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayatbest/pseuds/okayatbest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall's fifteen now and life's harder than ever. Having a crush on your best friend is hard. It's even harder when almost everyone else knows about it. The hardest part being the fact that you're both guys and now you may have to come out to your best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier than Telling the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Song from "The Truth" by Kris Allen.

Niall was screwed. Well, technically he’s been screwed for about three years. Since realizing that he may or may not have a huge crush on his best friend, things have been difficult. Although, Niall has never been more happy with Harry’s obliviousness, because by now it seems everyone had already figured out part of Niall’s secret. Well, everyone except for the one that really mattered. Even their mom’s knew that Niall was seriously crushing on Harry. Freaking Greg and Gemma knew. And both were relentless in their tortures. The fact that neither had spilled the beans to Harry was nothing short of a miracle. But with all of the hints they dropped, they might as well let it spill. But of course Niall fell for an oblivious fool. A cute oblivious fool, but still very much oblivious.

And all these thoughts were the cause of Niall’s strange smile that was really starting to freak Harry out.

“Uh, Ni? Are you okay? You’re wearing that weird smile again. Like the one you had when that one guy tweeted.”

Niall left his thoughts. Less due to Harry’s question and more because of Harry’s hand in his face. Niall slapped Harry’s hand out of the way before responding. “His name is Neymar, Harry. And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I always look this way.”

“Sure you do, Niall. But, like I was trying to say earlier, Louis wants us to meet him at his house to play some games. I told him I’d ask you first.”

That was exactly what Niall needed. Video games always helped keep his mind off of other thoughts. “Harry, when have I ever turned down an opportunity to kick some serious video game butt?”

~

Niall really like Louis. He was funny and older, so he automatically was cooler than them. He also had this attitude that Niall really liked. He didn’t take crap from anyone. and Niall really wish he could say the same about himself. He was sure of himself and didn’t care what others thought or said. When Louis first moved to California from England, Niall wasn’t so sure of him. Those old feelings of jealousy he first felt at age twelve came back at age fourteen. Almost instantly Harry started talking about the cool new student with the cool accent, and all Niall could think about was how he used to be the cool new student with the cool accent. Then he found himself having lunch with the new kid, while Harry asked him question after question, and Niall was transported back to age twelve with HArry talking about stupid Becca. Although,this time Niall had the name for the feeling burning up in his stomach, and this time it was accompanied with a new one. Anger. Seemed like jealousy and anger went great together. Two peas in a pod and all that. Niall’s anger quickly became obvious and it wasn’t long before Harry was questioning him. Niall was scared that the truth he’d been hiding for years would come out, so he put his anger on Harry. But seeing how hurt his friend was, his anger quickly changed to sadness and anger towards himself.   
  


Not wanting to lose his friendship that he worked so hard to keep, Niall apologized. He knew just apologizing wouldn’t be enough, but telling the whole truth was impossible. So, he told Harry that he was jealous and scared that Harry wanted Louis to be his new best friend. It was kind of true. But Harry laughed at him, “How could anyone replace you, Nialler? You’re my little Irishman. Remember?” And Niall felt stupid, because of course Harry was his best friend. They’d been friends for too long to let some new kid come between them. Liam hadn’t done it in third grade and neither had Zayn back in middle school. And Louis couldn’t in high school.

Realizing how much of a jerk he’d treated everyone, Niall started apologizing. However, he decided to wait to apologize to Louis last. Niall’s telling the truth  when he says he was not expecting Louis to take the apology like he had. “Don’t sweat it, mate. I understand completely. You’ve got a crush on our young Harold. It’s kind of cute. And don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

Ever since, Niall has loved Louis to death, but has also been completely terrified of him telling Harry about Niall’s little secret.

~

“Fucking hell, Niall! How’d you beat me? You never beat me. You fucking cheated.”

“How could I have cheated, Louis? You’ve been watching me like a hawk the whole time.”

Zayn giggled from his corner where he had been thought to be sleeping. “That’s probably why you lost.”

Louis threw his controller towards Zayn, but missed. “Shut up, Zayn. And aren’t you sleep supposed to be sleeping?”

“Kind of hard to sleep with you yelling like that, innit?”

“Guys, you’re really not helping with my headache,” came from the direction of where Harry was lying face down on the floor.

“Yeah, I’m with Harry. You’re making too much noise.”  
  


“Oh, I’m sorry Payno. Can’t hear yourself being all lovesick over your girlfriend?”

“Haha, Louis. How’d you get so funny.”

“I was born with it.”

“ _Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s sassaline_ ,” Niall sung out, causing Zayn to laugh and fall out of his chair.

“What the hell is a sassaline?” Zayn managed to get out between laughs.

“You know. Like maybelline but with more sass.”

“You all are bloody idiots. Children. Every single one of you. I feel like an old man around you guys.”

“Louis, you’re the worst out of all of us. What are you talking about?”

“Stay out of the adult’s conversation, Harold.”

“What the fuck, Louis. I’m only five months younger than Niall. And I’m more mature then all of you guys.”

“Hey!” Zayn yelled as he crawled back into his chair.

“Yeah, don’t put us in this mate. This is between you and Lewis over here.”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop calling me that, _Neil_. My name’s Louis!”

“That’s not what Mrs. Richards said.”

“Well, you and Mrs. Richards can both go fuck off back to Ireland.” Louis got up and began to stomp out of the room.

“That doesn’t even make sense. She’s not from Ireland.” By this point, all the other boys were laughing uncontrollably. That was another reason Niall loved Louis. Even though Louis was pretending to be upset, you could tell that he was actually having fun. And he may complain about them being younger than him, but the truth was that he thought of them as his younger brothers and he loved them all.

~

“Where’d Payno go?” Louis asked as he walked back into the room with a drink in his hand.

“He went out to talk to Soph.” Harry mumbled, still face down.

“Harry, a bug is gonna crawl into your mouth if you don’t stop doing that.”  
  
“Eww, Niall why do you have to be so disgusting?”

“Just warning you, mate.”

“Speaking of disgusting, I think our young Liam’s in love.” Louis yelled out, putting his drink up like he was giving a toast.

“Louis, he’s been in love with her since we were ten.”  
  


“Yeah, but I didn’t know you losers then, Niall.”

“Hey, don’t group me with them. I’m not a loser.” Zayn yelled from his corner. “But it is true. He’s been smitten for years now. Speaking of which, Niall, you’re nearly sixteen and you’ve never had a girlfriend. What’s up with that?”  
  


Louis spat his drink out, causing himself to choke. By this time Liam had reentered and he and Harry had taken it upon themselves to smack Louis on his back. Niall would have let him choked.

“Um, well. I guess I’m just not ready, you know. Just want to focus on doing well in school and stuff.”

“That’s right, Nialler. Make your mum proud.” Louis had finally gotten control of himself at this point, but somehow he hadn’t lost his sense of humor. _Yay him._

Niall contemplated murder.

~

Later that day, Niall and Harry found themselves back at Harry’s house. During the summer, they always found themselves sleeping over each other’s house and this week they were at Harry’s. Niall still hadn’t gotten over Zayn’s question. He couldn’t really blame the guy. He wasn’t aware of Niall’s situation. Although, if he was being honest, he was a little shocked that Zayn hadn’t picked up on it yet. Everyone else had. But Zayn was right. Niall would be sixteen in a few months and he’d never even kissed anyone. And yeah, neither had Harry, but Harry still had over half a year until he was sixteen. Even though Niall had never full out said anything, not even to himself, he knew that the last thing he ever wanted to do was kiss a girl. No he didn’t think they were gross, but he just wasn’t attracted to them. And he did not want his first kiss to be something he’d regret. No. He knew who he wanted to be his first kiss, but that would never happen. Especially if he never even told him the truth. And Harry was his friend. And he’d still be his friend even if Niall told him he was -.

“Niall, are you okay? You haven’t said much since we got back here.”

_No because I think I might be, kind of -_

“Niall, say something. What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

_Harry, let me think for a second. I want to be honest with you, because we’re best friends and we once promised to never keep secrets from each other. So, I’m going to tell you that I’m ga-._

“Niall just freaking spit it out!”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, HARRY! I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL YOU THAT I’M GAY!!” _Oh shit._

“Well, that’s one way of doing it.”

_What did I do. It was supposed to be a build up. That was not a fucking build up. That was fucking bulldozed._  Niall sat in silence waiting for Harry to say something. Because he had to say something. Right? He couldn’t just sit there and say nothing while Niall slowly panicked, thinking about how their friendship was over.

Except he did. Harry just sat there and said nothing, while Niall slowly panicked, thinking about how their friendship was over. _What the fuck, Harry?_  

“You know, there are these things called words that people sometimes use. Maybe you should try.” Niall thought joking would ease the uncomfortableness. It didn’t.

 

Niall risked a look at Harry and well, Harry looked pissed. _What the fuck?!_

“How long have you known?”

“Harry? Why do you look like tha-”

“How long, Niall?”

“For, for about three years now.”

“Three years! And you’re just telling me? I thought we were friends. But you didn’t even trust me enough to tell me?” and now Harry looked hurt, but Niall didn’t care because he was hurt, too.

“Harry. It’s not about you. It’s about me. I was freaking twelve and I was scared. What was I supposed to do? I hardly knew what gay even meant. I’d only ever heard it as an insult. So, yeah. I was scared. But it’s not like I didn’t tell you because I didn’t trust you. I didn’t tell you because I’ve never even really said it to myself.”

“Say it.”

These were the moments that Niall hated the most, because what the hell was Harry talking about? “Say what, Harry.”  
  


“Admit it to yourself. Say it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He couldn’t. There was no way. Niall had spent a whole year trying to convince himself that he wasn’t ga-. and even once he accepted it, he still couldn’t say it. Couldn’t even think it. How did Harry think Niall would be able to actually say it. “Harry, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Niall, you just told me.”

“Well, that kind of slipped. I didn't exactly mean it.”

“Then do it again. And this time mean it.”

Harry was right. How could Niall truly accept himself if he couldn’t even say who he was. Niall wanted to be proud of who he was. Proud of all the things that made him him. He was Niall. He was an Irishman. He was a sports fan. He was a natural brunet. He was some what short. He was ga-.

“I’m gay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos=hugs and kisses  
> Comments=me knowing I don't completely suck


End file.
